Ani,

Happy 4th of July! Tetka, you and I went hiking up Big Cottonwood Canyon...IN SLIPPERS! I simply cannot believe the things your Tetka makes us do! Let alone all the rules we manage to break in just a FEW HOURS! This my dear, puts you out of your comfort zone every single time and I try so hard to shield you from her. But if you only knew half the things your Tetka has made me do, oh heavens.... I should stop right now. Let me just say, life without Tetka, would be absolutely BORING.

We went off the beaten path, as you warned we should not. Curiosity gets Tetka and well, that usually spells trouble most times. And it did, sort of.... we saw a huge ANACONDA of a rattlesnake hidden high within the walls of a rock cliff. When Tetka saw it, she told us not to move because there was a snake near us. I couldn't see it but my instincts were to grab your shirt and pull you out of danger. As much as Tetka told us not to move, it was hillarious! WE MOVED ALRIGHT....I'm not even sure ANYTHING could've stopped us! It was like 2 wild hyenas running through the mountains screaming profanities in every direction! All I could remember was grabbing the front of your shirt and pulling you infront of me. You didn't seem to move fast enough so I grabbed you as if to carry you. And you clung on like a baby monkey does to her MAMA! It was hillarious now that I think about it. I think all the animals in the forest heard our voices!

Again, I love you Anna. SO SOOOO MUCH! How can you make my life so complete?!

BTW, you said this picture of me was your favorite. YOU'RE MY FAVORITE. :)

Zbog Tebe, Ani

I can just look at you and everything comes alive. Everything in this world may come to an end and I couldn't care one bit because I had you in it. I simply cannot believe there is anything finer than you. Funny as you may think, those button eyes your Tata and I have conjured up, why there is none finer in this world. Believe that Ani.

We ran your first 5K and let me tell ya. You did absolutely WONDERFUL. I believe there was a lesson learned that day. As tired as you were, we kept pushing through it. Your face turned beet red, sweat came pouring down your face. Doubt clouded your thoughts, yet you trusted me. You tried so hard to beat this 80 year old man. It was hillarious Anna. It was like watching the Hare and the Tortoise! And towards the end, you were so close and yet so far away from the finish line. I asked you what you wanted and you said the words I did not want to hear. "I can't do it mama". I asked you again, "what is it that you want, Ani" and you replied somberly "will you beat him?" and I said "let this be a lesson for you..." I will show you Ani that you can do anything as long as you put your mind to it. I will beat this man for you and in turn I NEVER want to hear you say that you "can't" ever again. Your father and I did not call upon the heavens to make such a beautiful mind only to go to waste. No Ani. You have the best, THE BEST of both of us in you and there is NO OTHER. I went ahead of you to beat that man, and was there at the finish line to see you coming in and give you the biggest hug! Congratulations my love! What an accomplishment. You even had some of your classmates running and we passed them. You should be proud of yourself. Ani, if there's anything more impressive, it's the confidence that carries you through life. That my love, is something that cannot be hidden, no matter how hard you try. Continue to do well. Run like the wind. Life is too short. Take advantage of all that life has to offer you. Don't hurt people in the process, live, love and toil with a will... because it all can end in a heartbeat. And all that's left..... is the kind of person you left behind. Make your mark Ani. I have a feeling peoples lives will CHANGE once they've met you....

Love,

Mama

Ani, La Luna!

Anna, La Luna!

Ululare alla Luna, Bella!
Lasciate che la luna stasera sentire la tua voce.
Ballare, cantare, toccare la sua tonalita di giallo!

Lui afferrare da sue orecchie e sussurrare paroline dolci
Gli permettono di arrossire dai tuoi baci appassionati.
Ma non chiudete gli occhi, Bella!

Ascoltare la bella luna.
Egli brilla alla perfezione questa sera per me.
Nemmeno le stelle possono brillare piu luminoso
Per il suo destino che ci unisce.

Allo Ani,

Tonight there was a lunar eclipse. We weren't able to see it on the American continent. I believe it was Africa that could view the entire eclipse, and what a sight it must've been. I like to imagine sitting ontop one of those ancient pyramids in Giza, or on the shores of Seychelles....

The moon tonight is big and bold and beautiful. You are asleep. Tomorrow is your play at school. You are so excited to perform infront of the entire school and parents. I can hardly wait to see you too my love. The poem above is in Italian. I thought of you as I wrote it. Enjoy my love!

Amore,

tua Madre

Garden Walls

The lights within Jerusalem are gone
But there is One who will not sleep at all
He will call upon the powers of Heaven
Deep within a garden's walls

A voice breaks through the silence in the night
And branches shake to hear a grown man cry
Oh, He cries and feels the sting of death inside
But He won't ask why

Through the years and 'cross the deep blue sea
(comes this mystery)
Why would the King of Heaven and earth
Bow down to free me?

Footsteps in the sand are drawing nigh
And Raging voices echo in the sky
Angry eyes can't see that the man they send to die
Offers life

Through the years and 'cross the deep blue sea
(comes this mystery)
Why would the King of Heaven and earth
Bow down to free me?
Two thousand years and 'cross the deep blue sea
(wondrous mystery)
The King of All Creation came to free me (free me)

The lights within the city now are gone
But there is one who cannot sleep at all
I will answer to the voice that ever calls
From those garden walls

Hello there my love,

This song is sung by Mindy Gledhill. You may not remember, but the first time we heard this song was in the parking lot of good ol' Wallyworld. But it struck me like no other. The scriptures teach us that God so loved the world, that He sent his only Begotten Son. That was our Savior Jesus Christ, Ani. For some reason, I've often been drawn to wonder about what took place within those garden walls. I imagine it must've been dark, with the faintest light of the moon to cast a glimpse of some peonies hiding in attendance. Perhaps such beauty might've given Him a brief moment of peace before He took upon the sins of the world. Yours and mine.

Ani, are you happy? This evening we sat out in the backyard and played a game Hedbanz. We had to guess who we were from the cards we placed on our foreheads! It was pretty funny, let me tell ya. You said it was the best part of the day and I agree. I love you Anna. I wish all the happiness in the world for you. I'm so happy and proud of you. You asked me for a favor a few days ago. You said "Mama, will you obey Grandma, your mother?" Startled as I was, I replied "yes, Anna. I will obey my mother". And you said with a voice so fragile and sincere "because I want you to live a long long time with me". Ani, I asked you the same, to listen to me. And you said you will. I also, want you to live a LONG LONG VERY LONG LIFE. Full with utmost joy and happiness. Choose happiness Anna. Love freely. Be kind to yourself and others. And give thanks every chance you get. Oh, and one more thing....don't forget to dance in the rain! :D

Love you,

Mama

Me, your Mama May 2011

Thank You for my lei on Mother's Day

Quality Heart You Are

mama May 2011

Hello My Love,

The past 6 months has not been easy for either of us. Moreso, YOU. I'm not even sure what to say exactly except that "we're still here". My cup runneth over with you, Ani. I'll have you know that each day that passes by, I thank God for you. I wish I had a poem for you but somehow I'm all out of words. Amazing huh? I'm just kidding. I want you to know something else. So listen up. I, your mother, come from a very strong background of very strong women. That's right! Very strong women. And if you ever find yourself falling short of strength, you look deep into me. Yes, that woman in the picture above. And know that I am giving you all the strength within me and passing it on to you. Each time you come looking for answers, look to me, and then look within yourself. Because I'll tell you a little secret. Your very name carries unbelievable, unimaginable strength and power, it's INCREDIBLE. Don't you ever allow yourself to think otherwise. Don't do it Anna. You must believe me, because I would never lead you astray. Others may, but I am your mother. Like I've told you many times, God would never give me you unless He knew I was strong enough to teach you valuable lessons to last your entire lifetime and beyond! So listen carefully.... because there will come many o times in your life where you think you can't do things. Or people may say hurtful things like "so what makes you think you're so special" or "you can't do this, or you can't do that" YADDA YADDA SCHMADDA... Ani, you can take all that ho hum and toss it up in the air for the wind to grab hold of and let it go. Say goodbye to it. And then you look within you, because that's where I'll always be. And all of my sisters, your aunties, and grandma Pola, and your greatgrandma Anna (yes, the very one Uncle James, and all the towns people remembers and speak so highly of even after death), geez Anna, you need to know the strength and power you possess. Don't go looking for it in far away places, just stop and feel your heart beating. That's all of us who LOVE you. All the power we possess lives and thrives within you. On the full moon of each Chinese calendar month, all our beautiful ancestors love and wisdom is renewed within you. Recharge yourself my love. Embrace your ancestors. Give thanks and acknowledge them. And then know that as long as you think of them, of me, we give EVERYTHING to you. Ani, some things in life, cannot be taught. Must be born that way. Some people go for the finer things in life, stepping over others just to obtain those things. You on the other hand, you're cautious. You see Le'a going on the road, and you see a car approaching, you run out and stop her. Because you have quality heart. Must be born that way. I see you Ani. Because you are mine. You know what "Character" is? Character is what you do when nobody is watching. I see you all the time when you aren't aware of it. And I must say I am very pleased at what I see. Nobody can teach this. You have quality heart. Must be born that way.

So if you find yourself in a jam. Or low on life. Cry if you must. But don't take too long. Always remember to ask yourself "who's crying for you?" most times, you'll see no one is. So take a few minutes to cry. Cry hard if you must. But when you're done, wipe those tears, let me help you too. And hear me as I say it now. "Life is way too short to be spent on crying". Dust yourself off, envision mine and all your aunties, grandmas, and great great greats on ALLL sides surrounding you with all our love and wisdom. Nothing can hurt you Ani. Then get your ass out there and do something good for someone. anyone. a stranger, a cousin, WHATEVER IT MAY BE, JUST LOSE YOURSELF IN THE SERVICE OF SOMEONE ELSE. And I promise you, your problems will become miniscule. I promise you. Listen to me Ani. I would never lead you astray. I am yours, you are mine. We are one.

So with that. BE HAPPY. Choose HAPPINESS. Love openly. Choose wisely. Remember the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Fight with all your might for what is good in your heart. Stand true to yourself. Don't ever be afraid to be alone, especially when you know what's right in your heart. I have never been afraid to stand alone. You should never feel that way as well. If you ever get to know me Ani, (and I'm sure you do) you'd know I've never let anyone provoke or convince me to do anything. When people told me not to do something and yet I felt deeply for that person or thing, Ani..... wild horses couldn't stop me. I just wouldn't let them. It just wasn't worth it. And I have no regrets. Not say I haven't had my share of troubles or grief nor pain. I have. and you will too. As long as you stay true to yourself, don't worry about the rest. In due time.....what goes around......has a way of coming full circle.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT'S THE BEST TIME OF THE DAY???? you got it girl..... right now. You're sleeping on the side of me. Snoring away.... well, snore all you want. I don't mind. I don't mind at all. :D

Be good my love. Alofa,

Mama