mama May 2011

Hello My Love,

The past 6 months has not been easy for either of us. Moreso, YOU. I'm not even sure what to say exactly except that "we're still here". My cup runneth over with you, Ani. I'll have you know that each day that passes by, I thank God for you. I wish I had a poem for you but somehow I'm all out of words. Amazing huh? I'm just kidding. I want you to know something else. So listen up. I, your mother, come from a very strong background of very strong women. That's right! Very strong women. And if you ever find yourself falling short of strength, you look deep into me. Yes, that woman in the picture above. And know that I am giving you all the strength within me and passing it on to you. Each time you come looking for answers, look to me, and then look within yourself. Because I'll tell you a little secret. Your very name carries unbelievable, unimaginable strength and power, it's INCREDIBLE. Don't you ever allow yourself to think otherwise. Don't do it Anna. You must believe me, because I would never lead you astray. Others may, but I am your mother. Like I've told you many times, God would never give me you unless He knew I was strong enough to teach you valuable lessons to last your entire lifetime and beyond! So listen carefully.... because there will come many o times in your life where you think you can't do things. Or people may say hurtful things like "so what makes you think you're so special" or "you can't do this, or you can't do that" YADDA YADDA SCHMADDA... Ani, you can take all that ho hum and toss it up in the air for the wind to grab hold of and let it go. Say goodbye to it. And then you look within you, because that's where I'll always be. And all of my sisters, your aunties, and grandma Pola, and your greatgrandma Anna (yes, the very one Uncle James, and all the towns people remembers and speak so highly of even after death), geez Anna, you need to know the strength and power you possess. Don't go looking for it in far away places, just stop and feel your heart beating. That's all of us who LOVE you. All the power we possess lives and thrives within you. On the full moon of each Chinese calendar month, all our beautiful ancestors love and wisdom is renewed within you. Recharge yourself my love. Embrace your ancestors. Give thanks and acknowledge them. And then know that as long as you think of them, of me, we give EVERYTHING to you. Ani, some things in life, cannot be taught. Must be born that way. Some people go for the finer things in life, stepping over others just to obtain those things. You on the other hand, you're cautious. You see Le'a going on the road, and you see a car approaching, you run out and stop her. Because you have quality heart. Must be born that way. I see you Ani. Because you are mine. You know what "Character" is? Character is what you do when nobody is watching. I see you all the time when you aren't aware of it. And I must say I am very pleased at what I see. Nobody can teach this. You have quality heart. Must be born that way.

So if you find yourself in a jam. Or low on life. Cry if you must. But don't take too long. Always remember to ask yourself "who's crying for you?" most times, you'll see no one is. So take a few minutes to cry. Cry hard if you must. But when you're done, wipe those tears, let me help you too. And hear me as I say it now. "Life is way too short to be spent on crying". Dust yourself off, envision mine and all your aunties, grandmas, and great great greats on ALLL sides surrounding you with all our love and wisdom. Nothing can hurt you Ani. Then get your ass out there and do something good for someone. anyone. a stranger, a cousin, WHATEVER IT MAY BE, JUST LOSE YOURSELF IN THE SERVICE OF SOMEONE ELSE. And I promise you, your problems will become miniscule. I promise you. Listen to me Ani. I would never lead you astray. I am yours, you are mine. We are one.

So with that. BE HAPPY. Choose HAPPINESS. Love openly. Choose wisely. Remember the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Fight with all your might for what is good in your heart. Stand true to yourself. Don't ever be afraid to be alone, especially when you know what's right in your heart. I have never been afraid to stand alone. You should never feel that way as well. If you ever get to know me Ani, (and I'm sure you do) you'd know I've never let anyone provoke or convince me to do anything. When people told me not to do something and yet I felt deeply for that person or thing, Ani..... wild horses couldn't stop me. I just wouldn't let them. It just wasn't worth it. And I have no regrets. Not say I haven't had my share of troubles or grief nor pain. I have. and you will too. As long as you stay true to yourself, don't worry about the rest. In due time.....what goes around......has a way of coming full circle.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT'S THE BEST TIME OF THE DAY???? you got it girl..... right now. You're sleeping on the side of me. Snoring away.... well, snore all you want. I don't mind. I don't mind at all. :D

Be good my love. Alofa,

Mama